Be prepared to hate me now – I did a juice cleanse, and I liked it.
That’s right – for 3 days, I drank nothing but juice, juice, juice. 6 times a day. Juice with kale, spinach, parsley. Juice with cucumber and carrots. Pineapple and cilantro. A cashew milk for “dinner.”
Who am I?
A few months ago, I’m sprinkling bacon on donuts and marshmallows. Today I’m talking about juicing? If it’s any consolation, I tried to juice a nice chunk of pork belly but it clogged the damn thing up.
No, not really. And, wow, that’s gross.
It’s just like this: Remember when I said that my guts hate me. Well, I showed them who’s boss with an ass ton of produce. And guess what? My guts don’t hate me anymore. In fact, they don’t even rumble back at me after most meals. I can ease back on the pimple cream because those went buh-bye. The stock price of Coca Cola products must be plummeting because I’ve eased off my 8-a day Coke Zero habit (yes, you read that right). I have MAYBE 1 soda a day. That’s my new happy hour.
In short, my pants are fitting better, and I’m feeling better – quite glorious, in fact.
Have mercy for small miracles.
And my new favorite way to start the day? With a green juice. My new favorite afternoon refresher. Another juice. Ugh, what happened to me?
Perhaps I’ll ponder that during my next cleanse.
(Which is now. Squeeee!)
(Ugh, I’m annoying myself.)
In the meantime, I’ll share with y’all one of my favorite juice refreshers that will be a perfect way to unwind on the deck come one upcoming spring evening.
(And if all this healthy stuff offends you, I promise to look the other way when you drop a hefty slug of vodka in the glass.)
Cucumber Grape Juice Cooler
(Adapted from The 3 Day Cleanse)
10 ounces green grapes
1/2 a large cucumber
1 large stalk celery
1 lime, peeled
3 sprigs mint
Juice all the items on low speed once. If desired, run any wet pulp back through the juicer. Serve immediately.Pin It