Mediterranean 7-Layer Dip

If I knew someone who was getting married or having a baby, this is the dish I would bring to the shower.

Yes, I’d saunter in with my hair all shiny and flippy and my dress not-slutty with this Mediterranean 7-Layer Dip clutched protectively to my bosom. But not so protectively that I dip my bosom into it. That would be awkward.

I’d say my hellos, all hugs and kisses and clouds of perfume, and place my special dish on the center kitchen island, carefully removing the plastic wrap so as to not dislodge one single, strategic sprinkle or layer of hummus, tapenade, yogurt, pesto, feta, grape tomato, red onion, parsley. The guest-of-honor’s grandmother’s sister’s best friend, Linda, would be hovering at my elbow, oohing and ahhing. Is that lemon zest?

Yes, in fact, it is lemon zest, ethereal whispers of brightness threaded amongst the onions and parsley. Linda would be making such a production of my zest whispers, gesticulating madly with her freshly manicured hands, that it would attract a small crowd of inquiring minds. What’s in there? How clever! That must have taken you all day to make!

I would smile sheepishly, in the way that my almost half-dimple appears.

I would not, under any circumstance, tell them it took me all of 10 minutes to throw it together because I just opened up a bunch of containers from Trader Joe’s.

I wouldn’t tell them I was inspired by the traditional mexican dip, but I nixed the actual mexican idea because I thought it too trashy to bring to a high-falutin shower like this.

No one wants stinky refried beans alongside Quiche Lorraine and pink cupcakes.

No offense to mexican food, of course. I can love all over, up, and under some refried beans and cheese but it just doesn’t seem to fit every occasion, ya know. Plus, Linda wouldn’t want to get any under her nails..

So I translated those 7 layers to something Mediterranean, that makes you think whitewashed houses studding a greek coastline. It something that requires pita chips or fancy crackers and a glass of Pinot Noir. It’s classy, with an honest-to-Goddess capital “C.”

Now, if only I knew someone who was knocked up or getting hitched – I wouldn’t be sitting on the couch, scraping the remnants of these 7 layers out of that pie dish with a Dorito (because I polished off the pita chips earlier in the day).

Mediterranean 7-Layer Dip

2 1/2 cups hummus
1 cup greek yogurt
1/3 cup pesto
3/4 cup tapenade
3/4 cup feta
1/2 cup grape tomatoes, cut in halves
1/4 cup red onion, finely diced
1 tablespoon freshly parsley, chopped
1 tablespoon fresh basil, chopped
1 teaspoon lemon zest

In a serving dish, arrange the layers in following order, starting from the bottom: hummus, yogurt, pesto, tapenade, feta, tomatoes, red onion, parsley, basil, lemon zest. Keep refrigerated until ready to serve. Can be assembled one day ahead of serving.