I’ll be 35 years old in May. For the last 34 1/2 years of my life, I’ve hated avocado. Until 6 weeks ago, when I fell head over heels in love with avocado and decided that I will dedicate the rest of my life making up for lost time between me and the avocado.

It’s kinda weird and pretty embarassing and no, I can’t for the everloving life of me explain it. Right now, all I can do is love all over that creamy, dreamy stuff, and I can’t find enough ways to cram it in my pie hole.

Hence, this chicken salad. Not that chicken salad needs any enhancement to make it the cat’s meow. Chicken salad on it’s own is pretty groovy. It’s certainly the highlight of any baby or bridal shower for me. I’ve even got a chicken salad rating system.

Points are deducted for a dressing that’s too loose. Further points are lost if the chicken pieces are too precisely square. I want to see some pieces that are shredded or torn. It makes me imagine someone in the kitchen savagely tearing apart a poached chicken breast with their bare hands. It’s so primal, so strange, yet so right for chicken salad.

Small bits of celery are a definite plus. But keep it small. Bits. Not chunks, ya know. Chunks are gross.

A little bit of dried fruit? Okay, now you’re really starting to impress me. Why haven’t we met before?

Served perfectly chilled, in some sort of carb contraption with a crisp leaf of lettuce? Leave me alone and let me sunbathe in all that salad glory. (Hope you don’t mind that I’m overdue for some waxing, though.)

So, as you can gather, this chicken salad meets all my requirements. AND there’s avocado in there to add a “Sweet Jesus, whatever is in here, I’d like to sleep with it” dimension that only avocado can add.

Oh, but I wish I knew how to quit you. . . .

Avocado Chicken Salad

1/2 an avocado
1 tablespoon lime
1/2 cup mayo
6 tablespoons sour cream
1/2 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon Lawry’s season salt
2 1/2 cups poached or roasted chicken breast, roughly chopped
1/3 cup celery, diced
1/3 cup dried cranberries

Combine the avocado, lime, mayonnaise, sour cream, worcestershire sauce, and season salt in a food processor and process until smooth. Transfer the dressing to a large bowl and fold in the chicken, celery, and dried cranberries until well-combined. Chill in the refrigerator at least 1 hour before serving.

What can I say about this tuna and white bean salad?

Uhh, nothing.

Not because it isn’t just the perfect little bite of refreshing and tangy and spa-like deliciousness we need this time of year. Rather because I am totally brain-dead.

In the last 3 weeks, I packed up half my wardrobe and sent it halfway down the eastern seaboard. I packed up a car and corralled 3 dogs into it, driving 16 hours, landing amongst palm trees, sunshine, and perfect blue skies.

And later, Mr. Hausfrau and I took a new neighborhood and empty house by whirlwind, arranging deliveries and appointments to fill that house with this little decorative touch or that little special piece. Because we had company coming and there was shiz to be done.

And now the house is done, the company is gone and I am D.O.N.E.

Fo real, yallz, I’m tured. Yes, tured. Because I’m too tired to say tired.

But, if you must know more about this salad, it’s cannellini beans and tuna, tossed with a lemony, pesto-infused vinaigrette, a smattering of sundried tomatoes, a touch of onion and parsley. It’s healthy, it’s real and if you eat it on a dainty plate, it has half the calories.

So, I’m going to go pass out by the pool with a dainty plate of this balanced on my boobies. Wish me luck.

Tangy Tuna and White Bean Salad

3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 15-ounce can cannellini (white) beans, drained and rinsed
1 7-ounce can of tuna, drained
1/4 cup onion, finely chopped
3 tablespoons parsley, chopped
2 teaspoons pesto
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons sundried tomato, diced

In a medium bowl, whisk together the pesto, lemon zest, lemon juice, olive oil, and salt.

Add the drained beans, tuna, onion, parsley and sundried tomatoes and toss gently to coat. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to 2 hours to blend the flavors. Serve.