I said healthy.  Not icky.

Why bother, right?

Well, you see, my teeth are sweet but big butts aren’t neat.  At least on me.  It’s okay on Kim Kardashian, because let’s face it, she has more going for her than a large tushie.

Yes, that’s right.  It’s the impressive Birkin bag collection.

Spontaneous Hausfrau’s Birkin collection = 0

Kimmie K’s Birkin collection = 9

She wins.  Though that number is only rumored.  Whatevs.  The closest I come is with a pair of Birkinstocks.

(That isn’t even quite the truth – I went through that phase in college and got over that phase in college.  Because, you know, I wanted to be gainfully employed.)

Anyway, where was I?  Oh, yes – my teeth. They’re sweet, and I like to enjoy a treat EVERYday, particularly around that doomed 4 o’ clock hour I like to refer to as a “snack or a nap” time.  It’s that time when you’re really starting to drag and you need to either get a little sumthin-sumthin in your mouth or snore it out at your desk.

You know that saying about a cupcake a day keeping the doctor away?

No?

A girl can always dream.

Cupcakes are fun, but they don’t add much to the daily nutritional profile.  As much as I love my desserts, I do try to seek some balance in my diet.  No sense in eating something on a daily basis that is going to leave you feeling all cracked out, thirsty and delirious.  I only like feeling this way on Fridays.  You feel me?

So, I took a banana bread recipe and swapped out a lot of the fat for pumpkin.  The wheat flour was replaced with a more nutrient and fiber dense blend of fresh buckwheat and oat flours.   Coconut sugar makes an appearance instead of the white stuff.  And, I gilded a few lilies with a handful of crystalized ginger.  So, I still feel special.

The results let me feel a little indulgent every afternoon and keep my tummy from rumbling before dinner time.

Calming the beast within.

Much to Mr. Hausfrau’s delight.

Gingered Pumpkin Banana Bread

1/3 c. egg whites

2 bananas, mashed

2 tablespoons oil

1/2 cup pumpkin

3/4 cup coconut sugar

1 1/4 cup oat flour

3/4 cup raw buckwheat groats, ground into a fine flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2 cup crystallized ginger, finely chopped

Preheat the oven to 325.  Grease a standard-sized loaf pan.

In a medium bowl, beat the egg whites with the mashed banana, oil, pumpkin, and coconut sugar.  In a separate bowl, sift together the dry ingredients.  Pour the dry ingredients into the wet and stir until no streaks of flour remain.  Fold in the vanilla and crystallized ginger.

Scrape the batter into the greased loaf pan and bake for 40-50 minutes, until deep golden brown.  Cool for 45 minutes and serve.

Do I have weird issues with food?

We won’t go there.

But, you know what I’m talking about: when the texture – the texture! – is so amazing and other-worldy that you just want to revel in it, and the only thing you can do is mimic your dogs and rub your nose and cheeks in it.

Never mind that it’s deer poop that gets the dogs all revved up.

I’m going to be really honest with you, however – on a cranky day, you’ll find this dip a real pain-in-the-you-know-whatsky to make.   First, you need to cut a pumpkin open (good luck keeping your fingers on that one).  Then you need to slice it and peel it (say good bye to your thumb if you still have it).  Oh, and obviously, you need to get all the seeds and slimy guts out.

Then, the pumpkin goes in the oven for 3 hours.  So, I hope you aren’t hungry.

But once your pumpkin is done, it’s all a cake walk (Cake?  Where is it?  And is there buttercream involved?)  You just puree the cooled pumpkin with a few easy ingredients and proceed to lick the spoon and processer bowl clean.  (Be careful with the blade, mkay?)

Now, I know once you taste this, you won’t want to share it, but you should because it really is the nice thing to do.  You can use it as a sandwich spread if not a gorgeous dip with any dipable device of your choice (veggies, apples, finger, you get it).

If you really want to make friends, serve this for Thanksgiving.  Your guest will definitely give you lots of thanks, perhaps even kiss you. (Maybe slip in some tongue)  (Ugh, I know, right!  Those people need some manners)

So anyway, find yourself a lazy afternoon and make this dip.  You’ll want to kiss me afterward, but let’s just agree on a hug, instead.

Savory Pumpkin Spread

1 Pie Pumpkin

1/2 cup honey

2 T. ghee, melted

2 T. tahini

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon curry

1/8 teaspoon cumin

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Carefully cut the pumpkin in half.  Remove the seeds and strings.  Cut the halves into 3-4 inch pieces (should yield 4-6 slices of pumpkin)  Peel each piece.

Place the peeled pumpkin quarters into a baking pan in a single layer (a 9 x 13 pan works).  Brush the melted ghee and honey evenly over the pumpkin.  Cover the pan tightly with aluminum foil and bake for 2 1/2 hours.

Baste the pumpkin with the juices, cover the pumpkin again with the foil and bake for an additional 30 minutes.  Remove the pumpkin from the oven and allow it to cool.

Combine the cooled pumpkin, tahini, spice, and salt in the bowl of a food processor.  Process until smooth.  Serve or store the finished spread in a covered container in the refrigerator.

Cuz you look a little hungry.

And it’s lunch time.

Besides, I’ve been cooking all week, and I need to find some use for this food.

So I took some bread and slathered it up with that pumpkin spread i just whizzed together (the recipe is on it’s way, I promise).

And I fried up an egg, kissed it with some parmesan cheese (because I believe in romance).

. . . layered it with those curried apples and that bacon.

(I may have stuffed some extra bacon in my mouth, realfast, but no one was around to prove it.)

And I took a step back to admire my handiwork.

What should I call this handsome little fella?  He’s all sweet and spicy, oozy and crunchy.

I thought I should taste it first, just to make sure it passes muster for you.  But before I could finish chewing my first bite,  a sudden gust of wind came storming through my kitchen (a monsoon I tell you!) and took the sandwich away.

Such a shame.  These weather currents, they’re crazy, ya know?

But a hunch, a very strong hunch (or maybe the pumpkin stuck in my teeth), tells me the sandwich, this Pumpkin McBacon, was kinda good.