Open wide.

This burger is coming to getcha’, getcha’, getcha’, so it’s eat or be eaten.

When I put this guy on a plate, I actually did say, “There’s no way I’ll be able to get that in my mouth.”

Which made Mr. Hausfrau all like, ”Oooh, don’t let anyone hear you say that.”

And it made me all like, “It’s true, I have a small mouth.”

Then he was all like, “Ugh!” before stomping off into the other room.

Leaving me, of course, all like, “Nananana!” behind his back.

In case anyone ever wondered why I don’t want children, there’s your sign. I’m a child, myself. But! But! I’m a child with grown-up tastes. A child for whom this tuna burger is a new favorite burger.

What about this burger do I love? It’s golden crisp on the outside, meaty on the inside and flavor all around, spiked with green onion, cilantro, ginger, and soy.

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. More, please and thank you.

Oh, and it’s glazed with a bit of teriyaki. Are you gonna’ have the rest of that?

In my world, there’s never too much of a good thing.

Now when it comes to serving these, you can take my hulking burger ensemble as a gentle suggestion. If you’re not a fan of mayo, don’t use it on your roll (I’m not judging you or anything, but what the what?)

Maybe you’re allergic to tomato, so leave it off. Perhaps it’s date night, so kick those red onions to the curb.

But the avocado is non-negotiable. As in, you must have it or you will break my heart.

And you don’t want to break my heart. For real. You know, hell hath no fury, and all that jazz.

Teriyaki Tuna Burgers

1 pound raw tuna steaks, cut into 1 inch cubes
3 tablespoons cilantro
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 teaspoons dijon mustard
1 slice of your favorite bread, crumbled
2 scallions, green tops only, sliced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons your favorite teriyaki sauce

Pulse the raw tuna cubes in a food processor 10 times, or until the cubes are half way chopped. Add the cilantro, mayonnaise, dijon mustard, bread, scallions, ginger, soy and pepper. Pulse another 10 times, or until the mixture is half way blended. Do not over process, or the tuna will get mushy.

Remove the tuna mixture to a bowl or large plate and knead the mixture a few times to get all the flavorings and binding combined with the tuna. Divide the mixture into 4 equal portions and form into patties.

Cook the patties on a grill or on the stovetop over medium-high heat, approximately 3 minutes per side. Brush the finished burgers with teriyaki sauce and serve.

What can I say about this tuna and white bean salad?

Uhh, nothing.

Not because it isn’t just the perfect little bite of refreshing and tangy and spa-like deliciousness we need this time of year. Rather because I am totally brain-dead.

In the last 3 weeks, I packed up half my wardrobe and sent it halfway down the eastern seaboard. I packed up a car and corralled 3 dogs into it, driving 16 hours, landing amongst palm trees, sunshine, and perfect blue skies.

And later, Mr. Hausfrau and I took a new neighborhood and empty house by whirlwind, arranging deliveries and appointments to fill that house with this little decorative touch or that little special piece. Because we had company coming and there was shiz to be done.

And now the house is done, the company is gone and I am D.O.N.E.

Fo real, yallz, I’m tured. Yes, tured. Because I’m too tired to say tired.

But, if you must know more about this salad, it’s cannellini beans and tuna, tossed with a lemony, pesto-infused vinaigrette, a smattering of sundried tomatoes, a touch of onion and parsley. It’s healthy, it’s real and if you eat it on a dainty plate, it has half the calories.

So, I’m going to go pass out by the pool with a dainty plate of this balanced on my boobies. Wish me luck.

Tangy Tuna and White Bean Salad

3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 15-ounce can cannellini (white) beans, drained and rinsed
1 7-ounce can of tuna, drained
1/4 cup onion, finely chopped
3 tablespoons parsley, chopped
2 teaspoons pesto
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons sundried tomato, diced

In a medium bowl, whisk together the pesto, lemon zest, lemon juice, olive oil, and salt.

Add the drained beans, tuna, onion, parsley and sundried tomatoes and toss gently to coat. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to 2 hours to blend the flavors. Serve.

Having said that, a few months ago, I saw a gorgeous curried tuna salad sandwich on Kath Eats. Because the tuna salad is used in her Great Harvest store, she can’t share the recipe for it. I cried a little bit. I softly stroked the image of that sandwich on the screen…told it I was sorry that we could not yet rendezvous. You get the idea.

Well, I must have caught a whiff of muffins baking or gotten distracted by the UPS man bringing me another Piperlime box, because I got over that sandwich like a bad habit.

Okay, end scene.

Last week, I was shaving my legs in the shower and it struck me that I use curry a lot. Normal shower thoughts, right?

And then, I remembered that we were out of tuna. Which was fine, because I was making my pilgrimage to Wegman’s that day. Are you still with me?

And then the dogs all started barking wildly – probably UPS with another Piperlime box. Well bingo, right there, the idea for a curried tuna salad was born.

True story.

If curried chicken salad revs your motors, then tuna is going to really get your knickers in a bunch, especially if you aren’t a big fan of tuna for tasting so fishy. This mixture of mayo, spices, honey, lime, and fruit mellow the flavor of that canned fish into something that, er, tastes like chicken.

I like this between thick, freshly cut slices of some hearty type of bread (whole wheat, multi-grain, anything else that looks like it will imminently move your bowels), but couldn’t resist those adorable mini potato rolls in the picture.

Because I think everything taste better when it’s mini-fied. But, let’s not call it an obsession – just a strong interest

Help.

Curried Tuna Salad

2 7-ounce cans of tuna, drained
1/2 cup apple, diced
1/3 cup celery, diced
1 tablespoon raisins, minced
1 tablespoon dried cranberries, minced
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 teaspoon lime juice
1/2 teaspoon honey
1 teaspoon fresh parsley, minced
1 teaspoon fresh mint, minced
2 teaspoon curry powder

In a medium bowl, flake the tuna, breaking up most of the larger chunks.

In a small bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, lime juice, honey, parsley, mint, and curry powder. Pour the mixture over the flaked tuna and stir to combine. Fold in the apple, celery, raisins, and dried cranberries until everything is equally coated.

Serve or store in the refrigerator in a tightly covered container.