Be prepared to hate me now – I did a juice cleanse, and I liked it.
That’s right – for 3 days, I drank nothing but juice, juice, juice. 6 times a day. Juice with kale, spinach, parsley. Juice with cucumber and carrots. Pineapple and cilantro. A cashew milk for “dinner.”
Who am I?
A few months ago, I’m sprinkling bacon on donuts and marshmallows. Today I’m talking about juicing? If it’s any consolation, I tried to juice a nice chunk of pork belly but it clogged the damn thing up.
No, not really. And, wow, that’s gross.
It’s just like this: Remember when I said that my guts hate me. Well, I showed them who’s boss with an ass ton of produce. And guess what? My guts don’t hate me anymore. In fact, they don’t even rumble back at me after most meals. I can ease back on the pimple cream because those went buh-bye. The stock price of Coca Cola products must be plummeting because I’ve eased off my 8-a day Coke Zero habit (yes, you read that right). I have MAYBE 1 soda a day. That’s my new happy hour.
In short, my pants are fitting better, and I’m feeling better – quite glorious, in fact.
Have mercy for small miracles.
And my new favorite way to start the day? With a green juice. My new favorite afternoon refresher. Another juice. Ugh, what happened to me?
Perhaps I’ll ponder that during my next cleanse.
(Which is now. Squeeee!)
(Ugh, I’m annoying myself.)
In the meantime, I’ll share with y’all one of my favorite juice refreshers that will be a perfect way to unwind on the deck come one upcoming spring evening.
(And if all this healthy stuff offends you, I promise to look the other way when you drop a hefty slug of vodka in the glass.)
Cucumber Grape Juice Cooler
(Adapted from The 3 Day Cleanse)
10 ounces green grapes
1/2 a large cucumber
1 pear
1 large stalk celery
1 lime, peeled
3 sprigs mint
Juice all the items on low speed once. If desired, run any wet pulp back through the juicer. Serve immediately.
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I think I’d actually enjoy a juice cleanse too, the only thing that holds me back is cleaning the damn juicer! I despise that task more than any other kitchen task.
Ugh, cleaning the juicer IS a pain. Especially the little mesh screen. It’s just downright evil.
This sounds so refreshing, and your timing is perfect. I just started the Crazy Sexy Diet “cleanse” and will be drinking lots of green juices and smoothies.
P.S. I tried running the pulp through my juicer yesterday and was amazed at how much juice was left. It was a messy process, but I probably got several dollars worth of juice out of that!
I’ll have to check out the Crazy Sexy Diet cleanse, too. I’m always scouting for more juicing ideas.
Congratulations on your juice cleanse going so well. I don’t think I could last that long on just juice.
It’s perfect since it’s been really hot here, I would love to make it
I’ve always wanted to try a juice cleanse, but never had the guts, figuring I did’nt have the willpower to stick it through. Good for you!! But if it tasted as good as this sounds, I could stick it out.
I was admittedly apprehensive going into it because I REALLY REALLY like me some food, but it was pretty comfortable. You’re drinking a juice every 2 hours, so you don’t really get a chance to get really hungry. Before you know it, the 3 days are up.
I did it when the husband was out of town and I had a light schedule, though, just in case I turned into a she-devil.